I HATE MY TV

Ross* is no longer on TV, so I hate my TV and am not watching even my favorite programs.

Rationally, I know this is VERY silly. But I am a HUGE FAN of Ross. The only other person I felt this way about was Spock. I also know that there is NO WAY I could be affecting the increase in TV viewers.

I really like talking back to a live broadcast. It makes me feel like a participant, and releases my inner snotty girl.

But the whole TV and Ross thing is almost certainly displacement. I am upset about my bunion and the possibility that my already restricted movement will become even more restricted. So instead of dealing with my grief about the increase in my disability, I obsess about Ross not being on TV. And I blame the wrong people for Ross disappearing.

Unfortunately, none of this brilliant insight helps with the reality of my feelings.

At least I am taping my TV shows so that when I am done with my funk, I will have them available to watch.

I remember going to meet Spock in person when he was selling his ineffective, "I am not Spock," book. I took my young daughter along so that Spock would be certain to speak with me. I find that it is fun being a fan. I especially enjoyed being in the audience of Ross' show.

We all have trouble dealing with loss. But if you find that you are blaming the wrong people for your loss, you might want to get professional help.

Me? I am rereading JK.

*Ross Mathews