'FREE' FOOD - SNAILS INTO ESCARGOT

Urban rumor states that ALL of the snails in San Francisco Bay Area gardens are descended from four snails brought over by the French in the 1800's so they could eat escargot. I was once part of a group of highly educated Berkeley residents who tested this theory.

First, you need LOTS of snails. By offering to cook the snails, I figured that I would get out of any further work as no one would collect snails. Did I mention Berkeley people tend to follow through on their obsessions?

Once LOTS of snails were living in two large buckets with weighted screened tops, we all discussed the possibility of the snails having eaten poison. The problem with educated people is that they can solve the little problems that the prospective cook brings up.

After a MONTH of someone else feeding the snails clean water and corn meal, the snails were unfortunately pronounced safe to eat. I had already consulted James Beard for the best cooking method. A date for a snail feast was set.

Cooking took a long time but was fairly easy. James said to remove the snails from the shell after cooking. James did NOT mention how to do that. I finally shelled the snails like they were badly cooked boiled eggs. I even had great Berkeley bread toasted and ready for the feast. (Note that the snails shrink when cooked.)

The French are correct. Snails taste REALLY GOOD. I was worried that there would not be enough snails for the cook to overindulge. Luckily, the thought of eating snails, and the gray color of the snails, kept most of the guests drinking wine and eating cheese.

Honestly, I just do NOT understand why restaurants charge so much for escargot. %<)